If your partner won't talk to you...

If your partner won't talk to you...


...it's for a reason. Why is this? There must have been good communication between you at the outset in order for you to form a relationship, so something has changed.

Relationships typically begin with a 'honeymoon' period: a world seen through rose-coloured glass, where neither party can wrong the other. However, it's not usually long before this blissful period fades. Practical issues call for practical solutions and the bubble of love gets punctured. Of course, this does not mean the end of a loving relationship (unless there was an unrealistic expectation of ongoing honeymoon), but it does signify the start of really getting to know one another.

In the colder light of your relationship now, could it be that your partner feels threatened by revealing too much? Ask them! If so, this suggests that you have a tendency to criticise their feelings, behaviour or beliefs. This will apply particularly to anyone with low self-esteem, for they will tend to agree with you!

You'll never persuade people to feel better about themselves by judging them, which is exactly what you do every time you criticise them. Instead, look for the potential in them; see their strengths, recognise their goodness and catch them doing things right. It's only the way you were prepared to be during that honeymoon period.

Why do this? Because what you radiate returns; it becomes your reality ~ so you might as well enjoy a positive relationship, which is what brought you here in the first place!

There is another reason why your partner may have withdrawn. After the honeymoon phase, it's quite usual for individuals to enter a period of independence. When one person becomes more assertive, the other is faced with a choice: either get into lots of fights or withdraw. Are you driving your partner underground? Ask them!

If so, think about how you assert yourself. Do you set out to reach resolution, aiming for a 'Win-Win' outcome, or are you more interested in getting your own way?

Resolution is different from compromise, where both parties often feel like they've lost. It can take a bit of effort to work things out, but the end result is always worth the investment.